Hump Day Humor - The customer is not always right

I came across this very funny blog called Not Always Right featuring quotes from customers. As a business owner, I live by the motto that the customer is always right. However, some customers can also be mean, confused, unhappy, unrealistic, demanding, etc. These are real submissions from real customers (not mine, thank goodness) and are absolutely hilarious. Here is today's post:

photo of old cash register by moi

An Abundance Of Nuttiness
Grocery Store Pompano Beach, FL, USA

**************

Me: “Thank you for calling [grocery store]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I bought peanut butter! Now I don’t know what to do with it.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You had peanut butter on sale–buy two, get one free. I bought the two and got one free, and now I have nothing to do with it!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but that’s not the fault of the store.

Customer: “What do I do with it?!”

Me: “Put it on a sandwich?”

Customer: “Do you know how many calories are in two tablespoons of peanut butter? 200! 200 calories!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I don’t really know what to do with your peanut butter.”

Customer: “I don’t care! If you don’t tell me what to do with it right now, I’m going to complain to your manager and have you fired!”

Me: “Ma’am–”

Customer: “What do I do with the peanut butter?!”

Me: “I don’t know, make cookies with it? Give a jar to a friend? Donate to a homeless shelter?”

Customer: “Are you crazy?! I paid good money for this stuff. I’m not going to just give it away. YOU. ARE. AN. IDIOT!”

Hump Day Humor - Funny exam paper

[source]

I appreciate a good laugh in the morning!

Up early this morning preparing for the Providence Arts Festival. I happened on this Billy Idol video that made me laugh. A good laugh is a great the way to start off any day. Enjoy!

White Wedding: Literal Video Version - watch more funny videos

What's your favorite childhood board game?

Life...Monopoly...Sorry? Mine, for the longest time, was Mystery Date. Okay, stop laughing. I'm not proud of that. I just loved opening that damn door. Anyway, is it just me or does every parent buy their childhood games for their kids? I've once owned and now purchased for my kids:

Monopoly

Life (funny, I hated to fill my car with people)

Risk

Stratego

Operation (a must in our household)

Uno

Sorry

Trouble

Pay Day (another favorite of mine)

Twister

Candy Land

Chutes and Ladders

...to name a few.

Last week, E and I decided to play Pay Day. I used to love playing this game. As we rounded the board for the second month, I realized I now live Pay Day (you know...the bills and unexpected expenses) without the great lottery or sweep stake wins. Funny, it seemed much more fun when I was little.

Game makers are keeping up with the times. I don't remember a "charity walk" on Pay Day when I was a kid or being paid $3500/month on pay day (it was $200 if I recall). In good times, Monopoly has raised the prices on its properties. Are we to expect a Monopoly: Recession Edition with foreclosures and evictions down the road? Click photo below for a closer look at the game.

"The flagship version of THE GAME OF LIFE has been updated many times since its launch in 1960 to ensure that it matches modern-day life," said Matt Collins, Vice President of Marketing. "When we started to design a completely new edition of the popular game, we knew it was also time to reflect the way people choose to pay and be paid - and replacing cash with Visa was an obvious choice." [source]

Notice the product branding of Visa. Yet another sign of the times. I'm thinking the cash only version is the way to go.

The Game of Life was another favorite of mine. Even as a kid, I loved having a mixed peg family. I make it a point to tell my kids that it's okay for two blue pegs or two pink pegs to marry. Unfortunately, not in the state of California...yet. Will some things never change?!

Hump day humor: New movie not for the faint of heart (pls RT)

These are the words directly from the husband of a college friend of mine and co-writer of the upcoming movie THE HANGOVER. "It opens next Friday, and it is not for the faint of heart. It’s vulgar, crass, has absolutely no socially redeeming qualities but it does have plenty of male nudity. Don’t take your mom to this one. In fact, I’m encouraging my mom not to see it. On the up side, it’s pretty funny."

Frankly, that is often the kind of recommendation I need to see a movie. Scott also co-wrote FOUR CHRISTMASES starring Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon.

Official website here: http://hangovermovie.warnerbros.com/

Inspired by color and lines

Photo taken by me in Vietnam, 2006

Clockwise from top:

Chirping trio photo pendant by The Intuitive Garden

The Harlow top by Ureshii

Embroidered organic stick earrings by Nectar Jewelry

Not funny anyway ACEO by 7seventeen Gallery

Lucy custom made dress by My Black Dress

Chain fringe recycled necklace by Boxing Day

Oh, hello there gocco stationary by Heather Jeany

Hump Day Humor - Funny bumper sticker #2

Hump Day Humor - Funny bumper sticker #1

President Day humor

Funny quotes from past presidents:

Richard Nixon - "Solutions are not the answer."

Ronald Reagan - "Trees cause more polution than automobiles do."

George W. Bush - "I try to go for longer runs, but it's tough around here at the White House on the outdoor track... It's sad that I can't run longer. It's one of the saddest things about the presidency."

Harry S. Truman - "If you can't convince them, confuse them."

Jimmy Carter - "I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming."

source

Week of Humor while studio is closed

My studio will be closed for the week as I take a much needed family vacation to sunny California. I don't want to leave you hanging, so I've scheduled a week (excluding Sundays) of funny photos and quotes that I've found.

Enjoy and I'll catch up with you when I return on the 23rd.

Cuff links featured in My Funny Valentine gift guide!

A very nice surprise, indeed! Maybe my quirky sense of humor has some appeal.

Hump Day Humor - You know you're important when...

...you have your own reserved parking sign.

I couldn't resist snapping this photo while on vacation in TN, 2007. Sorry if I offend, Cootr.

Hump Day Humor - Gift Giving Warning for men

I could only post the link, but it is funny.


http://bewareofthedoghouse.com/videopage.aspx

Hump Day Humor - clever marketing #2

While I'm away, I couldn't resist leaving a funny post for Hump Day Humor. Enjoy!

I so need to sew!

I really need to make new bags. I have some really great designs on paper and in my head, but I need to get them made. I'm finding the last few weeks of summer hard to make progress in this regard. I want to hang out with the kids, my Dad is visiting from the Midwest, and I'm wanting to get as many more days in the sun as possible.

On another note, I learned yesterday that a former colleague of mine is on Etsy. We worked together some 7 years ago in Chicago. She now lives on the west coast. Isn't it funny how small the word becomes on the Internet?!

jljay - jay design

Hump Day Humor - Etsy Fun

I think these are funny!

1) Thought Bubble Barrette by Melbell

2) Grey Moustache Disguise by Lupin

3) Ramen Noodle Baby Booties by MoJoTrashion

Etsy Artist of the Week - Moxie Photo and Design

It never ceases to amaze me how innovative people can be. I recently came across these cheeky buttons on Etsy and loved the idea that I could buy a 1 year subscription to the Button of the Month Club. I contacted Leah Daehling of Moxie Photo and Design and she shared this story about her button passion.



I love buttons. I love mail. I love subscriptions for fun stuff. So I assume other people do too. Born, The Button of the Month Club.

I wanted a button maker ever since I found out my high school classmate’s mom made the sport buttons all the parents wore so proudly. I remember thinking “If I had a button maker, I would make fun buttons and it would totally rock my world. And what if I could charge people for them!”

Fast forward 13 years later. I realized I still was pining for a button maker. Call my contacts. Put the word out. The word from my sister: “I will call Party Line and see if anyone has one they are ready to part with.”

{sidebar: Party Line is a primitive Craigslist and/or Freecycle. It existed before Craigslist and Freecycle. You call the radio station in O’neill, Nebraska and announce live what you are looking for or looking to get rid of. And you give your phone number and/or address. It is very grassroots and I love it. Listen online at www.kbrx.com}

My sister put in the call, the request and my phone number. Before she could hang up with Party Line and call me back, the phone rang with a seller. {Could it really be this easy?!} He had a button maker he was looking to sell. We decided on a price {ok, I tried to talk him down a bit, but he stood firm at $50}. To avoid shipping charges, I set it up for him to meet my mom right down the road and half way between the two of them. It was splendid. They met. They made the exchange. He attempted to sell mom some pens he made. The pens say “maker of horseradish and pens.” Awesome. They were too expensive or I would have had her purchase 2 cases. To do what with. I don’t know, but with that sort of wicked catch phrase, who couldn’t use 24 of them?

Ok. The button maker. I covet it. I adore it. I dream about it. I get those little excited grasshoppers in my stomach when I know I get to make buttons. Maybe, I love mustaches. Pink is the new Black. The Church ladies just shook their heads. Grab your mate, not your plate.
I use my ever growing and ever changing supply of vintage images. Or my photographs, or plain paper. Or patterned paper, or book paper or whatever I feel like using. I use it. And funny politically incorrect vintage sayings like ‘hangnails are the special plaque of housewives and typists’…what? Awesome. Sometimes the things I find in these magazines are better than the ones that ooze out of the wicked and sassy part of my brain.

The button of the month club is a way to share in my joy of buttons. And to get a taste of what is going on in my head and in my inventory of vintage. Its always changing. Funny, sassy, ironic, sarcastic. {it wont ever be gross or risque’, I want my momma to be proud} Who knows what you will get month to month.

You get:
Stuff: 12 buttons.

Mail: Each one mailed on the first of the month for a year. A certificate will be mailed with the first button.

Bragging Rights: you will own completely original buttons. I don’t make repeats. Ever. Ever. There are too many new ideas to make repeats.

What a great way to put a smile on someones face! Anyone who mentions this blog entry when they order Button of the Month will receive an extra button in the first months packet! Thanks, Leah!

See more of Moxie:
moxiephotoanddesign.com
moxiephotoanddesign.blogspot.com
moxiephotoanddesign.etsy.com

Mac vs. Pc -- The Inevitable Decision

So, my PC crashed for the second time in less than 6 months. This after my hard drive was replaced. The good news is that most of my files are backed up. The bad news is that most of my files are backed up...leaving some of my files potentially gone...drat!

More good news:
1. A forced break from spending countless hours on the computer. However, by reading this, you are privy to the fact that I can still post thus am not completely untethered to a computer.

2. Gives me an opportunity to problem solve...what did we do before the Internet?!

More bad news:
1. I have to take my computer in to be "looked at." I liken this to taking my car into the shop. I know very little about the workings of either and hate to feel like someone can take advantage of the situation.

2. I now have to decide whether I want to go back to my first love...the Mac with whom I started a relationship, back in college, only to leave it for another man (my husband and his PC).

3. The cost of all of the above.

While I'm making this decision, I thought I'd watch those funny Mac vs. PC commercials. They make me laugh in a situation that isn't really all that funny: