Learning to eat with chopsticks should be on everyone's bucket list

Last week, I wrote a post about what to buy at the Asian market.  I mentioned that I'd write another post about the utensils and appliances I use.  As I began writing, I realized that chopsticks needed a post all of their own.

When I was little, my parents made a choice that would affect my entire life.  They (perhaps just my father) decided that I should not learn to speak Vietnamese.  It was the mid 1960's and mixed couples were frowned upon.  I was to be raised "American," whatever that meant.  My father thought I'd be confused otherwise.  Along with not learning the language, I did not learn to appreciate eating, cooking, or anything associated with being Vietnamese.  It wasn't until college that I embraced my heritage.  This is something I've regretted all of my life (a completely different post).

When I met my husband 18 years ago, we went to an Asian restaurant in Chicago for one of our first dates.  I was mortified that he easily picked up chopsticks and began eating.  I don't recall if he said anything about my not knowing how to use them, but I came away determined that I'd learn to.  How could this French Canadian (white) boy know how to use chopsticks and a 1/2 Asian girl not?!  So, for the next 2 months, I only used chopsticks at all meals.  I learned quickly .

Now, my whole family eats with chopsticks.  Sometimes we even use them while eating spaghetti.  The boys learned to use chopsticks quite early.  Kids learn quickly and are only limited by the adults that surround them.  I cook with chopsticks, too.

Some interesting facts about chopsticks:

They were first made in China some 5,000 years ago.
The first pair were likely twigs. 
An old Korean superstition holds that “the closer to the tip one holds a pair of chopsticks, the longer one will stay unmarried.”
Thais do not commonly use chopsticks.
Standing chopsticks in a bowl of rice is considered bad manners.  It resembles incense sticks at a funeral.  [source]

Here is a a video on how to use chopsticks.  But, I must stress that the easiest way to learn is by simply using (fumbling) with them for a month or so.  For kids, it can be easier to start out with chopsticks that are joined together with rubber bands.  You can see how to make your own learning chopsticks here.  Or you can buy fun chopsticks for them like these from Fred and Friends. 

I have three different types of chopsticks in my house.

This place setting includes a rice bowl and a small sauce bowl for dipping.  I use my sauce bowls for spoon rests, too.

Fancy chopsticks:

These are mostly for show and, in my opinion, harder to use than plain wooden chopsticks.  Mine are wooden with shell inlays and should be hand washed.  They add an elegant touch to your table setting especially if used with chopstick rests (like my pewter fish above). 

Everyday chopsticks:

My everyday chopsticks are wooden and have a round tip (unlike my fancy ones with pointed tips).  They grip better than plastic ones.  And, they also come in handy to turn out corners of my sewing projects.

Cooking chopsticks:

These are longer and are great when stir frying, not to mention impressing your friends.

Another great reason for using chopsticks...you'll eat slower and less food.  Not a bad thing to do for many of us in the US.

I get the biggest joy out of seeing my kids eat with chopsticks.  I think it is a small gift that you can give to yourself or your kids.  If you do not know how to eat with chopsticks, I challenge you to learn.  If you do, come back and let me know!

Oriental is a Rug...not a person!

I came across a really great blog this week that really struck a cord with me. The blog is called Metrodad (poppycock from a cocky pop) and features the musings of a dad in NYC who refers to his daughter as Peanut and his wife, Boss Lady (which by itself is enough for me to really like him).

Here is an excerpt from his post on April 5th entitled, Oriental is a Rug: Five Quick Thoughts on Race. You can (please do) read the entire post by clicking the link.
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ORIENTAL IS A RUG
Recently, the Peanut and I were at Whole Foods when an elderly woman approached her and said, "Oh my, aren't you an adorable little Oriental girl?"


Because the lady was so damn old and probably doesn't think she's offending anyone when she calls African-Americans "colored people," I shrugged her off and walked away.

Naturally, the Peanut turned to me and said, "Daddy, what's Oriental?"

I have to admit that I kind of stutter-stepped. One thing I love about little kids is that they don't think in terms of race or the color of their skin. They pretty much judge them solely on their ability to relate to poop jokes, Dora the Explorer, and farts.


As Dennis Leary once said, "Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list."

Now, for better or worse, I tend to answer the Peanut's endless questions openly and honesty. So I sat her down and gently explained to her, "Oriental is a word used to describe objects from eastern Asia. Like rugs or teapots. Some people of earlier generations mistakenly use the term to describe all Asian people. However, that's generally considered politically incorrect. Does that answer your question, kiddo?"


"Yes, daddy. Can I have a cupcake?"

Proving once again that, in a perfect world, the only color that should ever matter is the icing on your cake.

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Perhaps in the big scope of offensive terms, "oriental" may not seem that bad. However, after years of dodging comments, questions, assumptions and general ignorance it pleases me to know that I am not alone in my quest to teach my children ultimate tolerance.